One of the things I’ve been learning from God lately is that, “Life is messy” and that I need to get over it.
So often in my life, I get caught up in trying to do everything exactly right. Perfectionist. I know that outwardly, I don’t seem like a perfectionist, but I get caught up in my own mind and end up stagnating and not doing something because I don’t feel fully equipped.
I know that God equips people and blesses them when they try. He equipped Moses when he was making excuses, He gave Gideon victory when he was a coward and He gave Paul the words to say on so many occasions.
He doesn’t expect us to do everything, he only expects us to be faithful and to be willing to be used by Him. I used to write to this blog semi-regularly, but because I’ve posted a lot of random things here, I feel like my blog has become a mess and that has pushed me away from posting on it. But life is messy and it’s okay for this blog to be messy too.
The way I’ve been taught by God is a blessing for me because it’s also a confirmation of the path I’m on for college. I’m majoring in Web Technology & Design with a minor in Graphic Design. Because of this I’ve had to improve my art skills and I’ve learned that art is messy and that my artistic skills are terrible.
Years ago, I prayed.
I prayed that God would show me the beauty in His creation because everyone around me was amazed and I just couldn’t see what they saw. God has answered that prayer by leading me down a path that has led me to where I am in college. By me trying to create, I see how unsuccessful I am and where I fall short. And this leads me to admiring God’s creation.
Before: I saw only mountains, trees, water.
Now I see an assortment of colors rolling in the horizon. I see depth to those mountains, I see how large the world is by knowing I’ve only seen a small portion of it. I see how incredible it is that God makes the leaves bloom, grow and fade from green to yellow to red EVERY SINGLE YEAR. I see the waves roll, I see the transitions in transparency in the water; it is green, blue, black and clear all at the same time.
And God opened my eyes to all of this by showing me that I am nothing and everything I make will amount to nothing in comparison to his creation. I now look and draw inspiration from everything he has done. I see myself looking at the day sky and seeing how the sky changes from white to light blue. I notice that the blue is richer in color some days than others. And I love the deep purple that is painted on the edge of the horizon at night.
To get back on topic though, I’m making a resolution. I want anyone who reads this to keep me accountable of these few things.
- That I will journal daily my walk with God: Prayers, praises, and things I’ve been taught
- That I will memorize at least one verse weekly
- That I will post at least once a week to this blog about a spiritual matter
So please, if you see me ask. If you don’t see me, then please facebook me, text me or call me.
I need to not be afraid of failure, I need to start doing something and God will bless and equip me for whatever that may be and this blog is my launching point.
Life is messy, art is messy, and writing is messy. I need to accept that and work with it. Thanks for bearing with me for all of my scattered thoughts.